Children and family bereavement

In 2024, at the Clinical Psychology Service: person, couple, family of the Catholic University of Milan, a Word Group was created for the elaboration of mourning for the death of a parent with children between 6 and 12 years old. The path of a GdP that has been experimented for years with the children of separated couples includes four meetings of two hours each on a weekly basis. To process this particular critical event for the family body, a group with the surviving parents takes place in parallel with the children's journey. This initiative was carried out as part of the broader project promoted by the National Authority for Childhood and Adolescence.

In the two parallel paths, specific contents were treated, with the ultimate goal of meeting for an exchange of messages between generations. Let's see in more detail how the itinerary with the children was articulated: each meeting included an initial ritual moment in which everyone is seated on cushions and we ask ourselves "why are we here?". A question that allows participants to share any information they have received from their parent and their expectations. The use of emoticons, in the initial phase of each meeting, allows you to tell the group "how I feel" today.

It is exciting to see how some repeatedly choose the image of the sad dog and the happy dog, explaining to the group that the two emotions concern the way they grieve, but at the same time the pleasure of being in the group with others who have gone through the same experience. In order for the group to unite in the narrative, even if starting from different experiences, we propose collage. We provide some magazines and each one chooses the images evocative for him of the death of his parent. At the third meeting, each child is invited to represent the map of the people they can count on, to whom they can ask the reason for the mourning event, but also be helped in remembering the deceased. At the end of each appointment, an evaluation of the work done is made and an agreement is made to bring a photo of dad, an object that remembers him, or the story of a particular episode to the next meeting. The fourth meeting is dedicated to writing the message to be shared with the parent group, as it happens in the other room. This text is read at the moment when we are all together and the emotion is great. The meeting ends with a snack and individual appointments are scheduled, in which a leader of the children's group and a leader of the parent group meet with the adult of reference for a comment on the experience. All participants are offered a list of texts to talk about death, texts that are also partly read together during the course and that each family can use in the future.